Self-Care is not a Selfish Act; It’s a Must
Let’s talk about taking our self-care and “me time” more seriously.
I don’t care if you identify as a mom or a business owner or anything else under the sun… you are a human being, and you need designated time for yourself. Plain and simple.
Now, I wish I could leave it at that, but I’m sure some of you right now want to fight me and tell me how little time you have in general let alone the ability to designate selfish time to yourself. Well, you can. I promise.
Sharing the importance of this topic came to me as I was walking on the treadmill. All three of my girls were home for the day with ear aches, fevers, and all the things. I’m tired just thinking about it! As a mom, when my girls don’t sleep well, I don’t sleep well. Moms out there, can you relate?! During this time, I felt spread thin and felt like I couldn’t set aside any kid-free time.
Sure, we can’t add more minutes and hours to the day, but we can utilize the minutes and hours we have in our day to our advantage. On days I think I am too busy, I start asking myself this “Can I be better at “X” if I had a little bit of time for me today?” The answer is ALWAYS yes.
In this case, the best way I can take care of my girls when they are sick is by taking extra good care of me first. No it’s not selfish, it's just the truth. If I don’t do this, I am going to be short with the girls and my husband, quick to yell, sad, or overly emotional. I had to get real honest with myself to identify those things, which isn’t always fun to do.
However, think about it, when you’re on an airplane they tell you to put your mask on first right? The same thing applies with your self-care routine. Put your self-care mask on first, and do the rest later.
That being said, I woke up this day with little sleep knowing that my girls were home and were going to take a lot of my time and energy. I thought to myself, “What can I do to set myself up for success today?” Knowing the day would be long, I knew that I wanted to start my day off for myself. So, I got up and went to my happy place. I got in the bath, got my 40oz Stanley cup by my side, scooped up my book to read, and even did a little of my email. I allowed myself to enjoy that time. That is key–enjoyment and presence. You can’t just go through the motions, pretending to be at peace when really you're busy thinking about all of the other things you “should” be doing. That is not going to help. It’s going to stress you out more.
I look back and doing these things for myself always puts my mind at ease and in a much better headspace for the day. Not only did I have a little time to relax, but I also got a little work done, chatted with my virtual assistant, and even moved a client meeting to a later time. Self-care is non-negotiable for me. I like to start my morning in this way, but you can do your self-care routine at whatever time of day you like!
If you think you don’t have time for self-care and you time, here’s a list of things I like to do:
→ Wash your hair. I swear by it. If you ever need a good pick-me-up, just wash your hair. Getting in the shower and allowing yourself to wash your stress away will always leave you feeling rejuvenated.
→ Nourish your body with healthy things. This helps my mindset to be ready to take on the day.
→ Get ready. Even if you’re at home with your sick kids, put a good outfit on or comfy clothes that are CLEAN.
→ Do a skincare routine. Here is a subtle plug for Dime. I started using them last year for their skin care products, and it was a total game changer for me. It has changed the complexion of my skin and hormonal acne. However, the most important thing it does for me is that it makes me feel confident without makeup on.
→ Go on a walk. The fresh air will do wonders for you!
→ Grab dinner with your friends or sneak in a date night with your honey.
→ Pamper yourself by getting your nails done, or a fancy coffee, or even just a quiet lunch alone.
→ Re-organize things in your house. I have personally found that since I live in a place that has such cold weather, I am not excited to leave the house when those cold temperatures are brutal. It always feels like such a task. So I have found that if I organize or redecorate an area in my house, it makes it more exciting to stay home. Doing simple things like organizing a drawer, or going through closets and donating a bag to Goodwill will do amazing things.
What I started to realize when I created more self-care and me time in my life was that all other things in my life started to flourish. I was better to myself, my husband, my kids, and my business even began to flourish. Why? My energy was higher. I was more excited to do things because I wasn’t too tired, and I no longer resented doing them either.
Remember, when you do things for yourself, it often trickles out to others. Creating these practices will make you have more small victories in your soul that you didn’t know you had (or needed). This is the time to recenter our mind and aura, and in the end, we end up helping someone else. When we are looking to help ourselves, we are actually paying it forward to someone else.
When you take care of yourself and show people how you take care of yourself, it reminds others that they should do the same. I want to be the wife that shows her husband she cares about her self-care. I want my kids to know that this is important. I want my work to be flexible enough that I can do these things. Your people will take pride in the work you are doing on yourself. It is such a revolving door of healthy habits. When you need to take care of yourself it is to rejuvenate your soul, and in turn when you're rejuvenating your soul, you are being your best self. It’s like a rock thrown into the pond. The ripples are magnifying out to others, which in turn is bringing joy into this world.
